New Beginnings

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Phew, I just read over that last post one more time. Talk about over writing! I guess that's what happens when you think too much about what you're writing down. I'd say don't read it if you haven't already but then everyone will instantly go back to check it out. Let that be a lesson to all you other aspiring writers out there. Don't think. Hmm... Maybe not the best lesson. Okay, how about this one: don't listen to any of my advice. Yeah, that should do.

Anyway, it's no less than two weeks before I leave and everything has somehow gotten slower. Not that time is going slower or I'm getting more anxious to leave... in fact I think I'm over most of my initial excitement and it has all just become reality now. But I have been taking more time for things. Last weekend I got home late from visiting with my friends and it was snowing (yay). For a few minutes I was angry enough to leave Calgary the next day and just say screw it all. Snow in June? Seriously... But after that I took a minute and stood on my porch and just watched. It was wet snow so it was falling quickly. Kind of like watching rain in slow motion, streaking in front of the street light before hitting the ground and instantly melting.

I think as a species we define ourselves by moments or stretches in time. That's why change is so important (and sometimes scary) for us. I lived in Houston, Texas for the first three years of my life and I don't remember any of it. Other than that, I've lived in the same house in Calgary for most of my life up to this point, with the exception of brief stretches in Toronto and an apartment on 14th St. And in a way my life seems segmented into those times. About half the time, the transition between those locations was easy. But the rest, it was hard. Painfully hard. I'm still not sure which way this one will go, but it seems in some ways to be the biggest. I don't expect to return to Calgary after I'm done, and so right now (and I suspect for the next couple weeks) it feels like the end of an era as opposed to the beginning, even though I know the beginning is just around the corner.

Maybe the reason I have been trying to take things slowly, see all my friends, enjoy my last few weeks here, is because deep down, I know I'll never be coming back here. Not to live anyway. But I will be back to visit, of that I have no doubt. So, hopefully I'll see everyone in the next couple weeks, and if not, I'll be around in a year or two!